I am not coping well with lockdown

Hello. So, you may or may not have noticed that i seem to have dropped off the face of the earth. I think the only way you’ll know i’m still around is if you have me on Nintendo Switch and can see my name pop up on Animal Crossing every night.

Lockdown has hit me quite hard, i’m not gonna lie. The only way i can cope is by taking myself off social media, which isn’t something i’ve ever had to do before. But right now, everybody sharing their lockdown experience is really upsetting me.

I think it’s because it seems like everyone is doing better than me. I know everyone is having a hard time and everybody wants to show their best on social media, but i can’t cope with it at all right now.

I cry at least once per day. I haven’t tidied my room for 2 weeks and can barely see my floor. I’ve stopped washing my hair, which i’ve said is in the name of “healthy hair” but really it’s because i can’t be bothered to do it.

I just want to remind everyone that people are coping with this situation very differently. If you look on your instagram feed and see outfit photos, perfect hair and makeup, that’s probably how they’re coping.

For every picture like this, there’s also one like this.

There’s also people like me, who won’t post it on social media. People who congratulate themselves for making their bed, even if they get back in it an hour later and feel accomplished if they don’t cry that day.

I’m not asking for pity or trying to make anybody feel bad for coping really well with lockdown. But i can’t see anybody else talking about how difficult they’ve found it – maybe because they can’t bring themselves to. Which is understandable, it’s taken me a while to bring myself to write this.

I just want everybody to know that this is fucking hard. There are days where i genuinely feel like i can’t do this for any longer. I don’t want to talk to anybody, but i also miss talking to everyone. I can’t win.

Please, stick by your favourite creators during this time, even if they stop creating. This is tough on everyone and sometimes, social media makes it a million times worse.

I’m sorry if i don’t answer your DM for a week. I’m sorry if i don’t reply to your text and can’t hold an interesting conversation. I’m sorry if i don’t like and comment on your recent instagram ad.

I’m trying my best.